All you need is love:
Remembering Mother Teresa and Princess Diana



We have been inundated with loss: first The Princess of Wales, then the incomparable Mother Teresa. There are temporal and spiritual lessons, often intertwined, to learn from both women.

In the aftermath of Princess Diana's death, the media created the kind of Hegelian dialectic with which American readers are already familiar in their political system. While many people are still too upset to attribute blame, the death of the Princess, they say, must be either the responsibility of the paparazzi or the deceased driver. All other possibilities, including self-responsibility and sabotage, have been eliminated. Anyone with a basic knowledge of the American media knows that this is a signal. The moment the media narrow things down in such manner, it is a sure sign that the truth lies elsewhere. Trust them to give the game away.

In this case, the late Princess may have failed to anticipate the consequences of her actions. On July 18, 1997, we reported: "Princess Diana nearly spilled the beans to reporters. She told them she would soon announce a big surprise until her London office stepped in to say that the big surprise was that there would be no surprise." So what was the surprise? That she was planning to marry Dodi Fayed? The engagement ring was indeed found on her person after the crash, and that may have been part of it, but the Daily Mirror and other sources suggest another reason why she suddenly thought better of announcing her plan "to withdraw from public life for a period of time" this November.

If at that time she was carrying the stepbrother of the future king, as they report, it may have dawned on her that Buckingham Palace and her sons ought to hear it from her first. Apparently she badly underestimated Palace reaction. Did she think the Royal establishment would be indifferent to news that the future king was to have a stepbrother who was Egyptian, Muslim and illegitimate? Some newspapers, especially in the Middle East, allege that the brakes were loosened and the accelerator spring removed on the Mercedes by a British agent in the Ritz Hotel garage. That would have taken less than a minute to do, though there is no proof either way because authorities have refused to permit an examination of the vehicle, and even if they did, sabotage may well be undetectable in a wreck. We may never know, but given the circumstances, nothing can be ruled out.

Yet Princess Diana's life also offers us spiritual lessons: God can use us for His purposes, no matter how broken or how imperfect we are; God used Diana's life, especially her struggles, for good. Her brother called her "a standard-bearer for the rights of the truly downtrodden." In a week when convention was subsumed by grief, his bold eulogy generated gasps of shock from the Royal Family, as applause flowed from the crowds in Parliament Square into Westminster Abbey, up the aisle and even into the royal pews. In a building which had stood 900 years without it, this eulogy was enthusiastically applauded by Princes William and Harry and other young royals. Perhaps the good in Diana's life will live on through her sons. She would still be alive had she not given over her personal life to sin, the Hebrew archery term that means "missing God's purpose", yet she tried hard, as do we all, to find God's purposes. Despite a sad childhood, a painful marriage and her emotional battles, she tried to leave the world happier and more loved.

The Archbishop of Canterbury spoke on BBC Radio 4's Thought for the Day: "Our grief has been intensified by news of Mother Teresa's death. Mother Teresa, of course, knew Diana well. She knew at first hand Diana's wonderful gifts: extraordinary beauty, flair, courage and a marvelous capacity to communicate human warmth. And yet, we shall not portray the real Diana if we make her out to be superhuman. Her special place in so many people's hearts was due also to the fact that they could identify with her vulnerability; with the times she suffered and stumbled and the way she was able, so brilliantly, to turn these struggles into compassion for others." As Paul said 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' (2 Corinthians 12:9)" The person may be gone, but the love remains.

Unlike Diana, Mother Teresa discovered long ago God's purpose for her life. She worked among the very poor, providing Diana a role model. Mother Teresa personified the selfless discipleship that Diana sought to emulate. While Diana's life symbolized a struggle between saintly aspirations and sinful temptations, Mother Teresa's life was filled with sacrificial service to the poor, the hungry and the sick. She had no jewels, no fine clothes and no affluence, but was loved by people of every faith and nation. Mother Teresa's life of service revolved around the love that God reflects through us to those around us. As God filled her with a love that washed the dirty, fed the hungry, cared for the poor and the sick, she knew she was doing it all for God. It was a Divine pas-de-deux, and there must be a terrific party in Heaven this week.

Her loving intimacy with God was illustrated in her favorite scripture: "I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" (Matthew 25:34-40) As Oswald Chambers said: "God has only one destiny for mankind: holiness. His only goal is to produce saints. God did not come to save us out of pity. He came to save us because He created us to be holy." The greatest tribute we can pay both Princess Diana and Mother Teresa is to infuse their love and holiness into our lives. We have lost two very special people at a time when we need loving guidance and when we see even Christian organizations and churches gone terribly astray and compromised by what Earl Spencer called "those at the opposite end of the moral spectrum".

Mother Teresa's life began in Skopje, part of the former Yugoslavia. At 18, the same age as the late Princess Diana was when she was dating Prince Charles, Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu decided to become a missionary in India. On September 25, 1928, she left home accompanied to the station by a whole community of friends and neighbors, and traveled to the abbey of the Loretto Sisters near Dublin where she learned to speak English and was trained in religious life. There she chose the name of Sister Teresa, in memory of Little Teresa of Lisieux, where she had stopped on the way. Three months later, on December 1st, 1928, she began her journey to India. On May 23, 1929 she was accepted as a novice in Darjeeling, and two years later made her first vows, following which she was sent to the small Catholic hospital in Bengal to care for sick and starving mothers. She was deeply touched by the endless misery.

Later she was sent to Calcutta to study to become a teacher, but whenever she could, she helped the sick. In 1937, she became head of a middle-class girls school in the center of Calcutta, not far from the slums. She continued her visits to the slums, and it became clear to her that her ministry may be among the poor. She sought God's will and during a retreat in Darjeeling, heard God calling her to leave the convent and live amongst the poorest of the poor. "It was an order, a duty, an absolute certainty. I knew what to do, but I did not know how." she recalled. In August 1948, at the age of 38, she received permission to leave the Loretto community provided she kept her vows of poverty, purity and obedience. She took nursing training in Patna and returned to Calcutta to minister to the poor with only a piece of soap and a few coins. In 1949, she was joined by a helper, and then a few more until in 1950, the Order of the Missionaries of Charity was founded with 12 sisters. Today, they work in over 100 countries.

The value of Mother Teresa's possessions was about three dollars. Princess Diana's were worth over $30 million. With Mother Teresa, the world buried a saintly woman who is now at God's right hand. With Princess Diana, whose death has been given more coverage because it is deemed more tragic to die at 36 than 87, many British people feel they buried part of their future. Yet Britain is being propelled by her into a new era. The ruling class has been soundly defeated months after the Conservative Party was sent to the wilderness for a generation. What will replace the old Establishment is yet to be determined, but Britain is becoming more like America: emotional, multicultural and informal. If this new Britain evolves without an over-present media and America's societal problems, there will be progress.

If the Royal Family understand this profound social evolution and adapt accordingly, they will regain their popularity. If not, they will not deserve to survive. The dynamic was summarized in Prince Charles' confrontation with Queen Elizabeth's Private Secretary, Sir Robert Fellowes (who is also Diana's brother-in-law), over where Diana's body should be taken and whether or not the Union Jack should fly over Buckingham Palace.

Just as Crathie Parish Church in Balmoral, where the Queen worships, was the only church in Britain the morning of the death in which the Princess's name was not mentioned, so Buckingham Palace was the only public building in Britain without a flag flying at half mast. Everyone is familiar with the protocol that prevents it, but the public mood, as caught precisely by the attuned instincts of Prime Minister Tony Blair, ran out of patience for an incomprehensible and unsympathetic protocol, and demanded that an exception be made. At a time of acute lamentation, British people were in no mood for the niceties of protocol. Nonetheless, Fellowes conveyed the Queen's preference for a public mortuary and no flag. Prince Charles and Tony Blair insisted on a private chapel and, for two long days, the flag. They eventually got their way, but not before Prince Charles had told Fellowes, who is married to Diana's sister, to "go and impale himself on the nearest flagpole" or words to that effect. It was announced just after the funeral that Fellowes had resigned, following the greatest royal humiliation in modern history.

The evolution of the new Britain, modern monarchy and all, will be gradual. Nobody expects Queen Elizabeth or Prince Charles to change drastically or fill the void left by Diana. They are not glamourous, beautiful or powerfully entrancing, and any attempt to alter their personas would be ridiculous.

After time for reflection, a sensible review should determine which of the monarchy's customs are loved and treasured, and which ought to be discarded or replaced. In Diana, people saw a monarchy that could be spontaneous and warm, and cared more about people than protocol. What is needed in many countries is a special someone to love, like Princess Diana or Mother Teresa.

One of the hymns in Princess Diana's funeral service was based on the famous prayer of St. Francis of Assisi which was the inspiration for both Mother Teresa and the Princess. It seems fitting to conclude with that prayer in the hope that it will inspire others too to remember those things that really are important.

Lord, make me an Instrument of Your Peace,
That where there is hatred, I may bring love,
where there is injury, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness,
where there is discord, I may bring harmony,
where there is error, I may bring truth,
where there is doubt, I may bring faith,
where there is despair, I may bring hope,
where there is darkness, I may bring light
and where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

O, Divine Master,
Grant that I may not try to be comforted, but to comfort,
not try to be understood, but to understand,
not try to be loved, but to love.
Because it is in giving that we receive,
it is in forgiving that we are forgiven,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. Steve Myers © 1997, 2006